Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Delusional Blunder

Many years ago, while still living in the Peoples Republik of Kalifornia, I had a good friend that was in a hard spot. He needed some money for one thing or another and decided to part with the first handgun that he had ever bought, a Smith and Wesson 686 with a 6" barrel. 357 Magnum, of course, and I had to have it! It would be the perfect pistol to carry out in the desert while chasing quail. The only problem was the wife, and I decided that I would deal with that later. I paid premium dollar for that pistol, after all, he was a friend. I handed him the $500, took it home and hid it in the gun cabinet. After all, that's what married men do. Right?

A few weeks go by and all is calm in the Sigboy household. I am in need of a little trigger time and start loading up the guns. I'm prepping all my gear, a bit of a drive out into the Mojave desert and I will reach a state of bliss that can only be caused by lead and the smell of burnt nitro-cellulose. A poor lack of timing on my part led to Mrs Sigboy entering the bedroom. "What's this?" she asked, picking up the 686. She opened the cylinder to check the weapon, closed it again and raised the firearm, sighting on an imaginary spot on the wall. My mind went into panic mode. What was I to do? How could I get out of this dilemma? Most importantly, how could I get out of this dilemma and still go shoot?

The solution came upon me in a flash. "I'm sorry sweetheart, I wanted it to be a surprise." Wait a moment for a dramatic pause, and breathe. "I bought it for you and I wanted to take it out and make sure that everything was okay before I gave it to you." My poker face was on, I betrayed no emotion as she pondered my explanation.

A flicker of doubt crept across my mind. Finally she says, "I like it. When will I get to shoot it?" I was safe, or so I thought. She loved that pistol, and shot it well. On every foray we had she carried that pistol. I didn't get to shoot it very much. I carried it in the field even less. Every time I would try and pack it, she would say, "Why are you taking my pistol? You have your own!".

Let this be a lesson to all of you. When you try to cover your indiscretion by making it a gift, just plan on not being able to use it for the purpose you intended.


Deschain said...

Harsh. And it's a damn nice gun, too.

Mike W. said...

A blunder maybe, but better than feeling her wrath right?

Site Meter