Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Some Governors Do It In Movies

Some do it in real life.....
How cool is the Texas Governor? Cool enough to stop a coyote intent on eating his dog with one shot from a small auto pistol.
From Yahoo news:
Perry told The Associated Press on Tuesday he needed just one shot from the laser-sighted pistol he sometimes carries while jogging to take down a coyote that menaced his puppy during a February run near Austin.

My Governor is cooler than your Governor.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

"Taxonomy of Modern Dangers"

Shameless stolen from Tam, whose snark never fails to get her on base. This is a homerun and worth passing around.

It occurs to me that some newer readers may not be up on the entire "Taxonomy of Modern Dangers" thing, so as a recap, here are several good reasons to carry a gun:

Zombies (of course)
Face-eating monkeys
Killer space robots
Hippies (generally peaceful, but can become erratic and dangerous during mating season)

Various hybrids of the above, such as zombie bears or ninja vampires
Remember: If you are prepared for the dead to walk the earth in search of human brains, then a hurricane or attempted mugging is no big deal.

Isn't this well spoken truth awesome? The only thing I can think to add is clowns.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

2010 Pecos Run 'n Gun 'n the Sun

I decided that before I committed to this, I had better ask Mrs. Sigboy for permission. The conversation went something like this:
"Honey, Phil just told me about a rifle match down in Pecos this August. It's a six mile running course with 4 or 5 shooting stations mixed in. They score it based on your run time and shooting score. You have to carry all your gear (including water) with you while you run."
"Six miles? In August? In the South Texas Desert? If you want to kill yourself, go ahead. Just make sure your life insurance is paid up."

I really didn't think that she would go for it. So now I am going to go and try and kill myself this August. Here is a copy of the 2008 info.

The only thing left to decide is what gear to use? Vest or Pack? I have also been told that there is a one gallon minimum water requirement. Round counts should be out shortly, I am assuming 80-100 rounds of rifle ammo, and I may take the J frame for snakes.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to get running.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Jump Rope

In an effort to be more active, last week I bought a jump rope. A fairly nice leather one from Everlast. No, I dont have any plans to be the next Rocky, or even to film some sort of training montage set to awesome 80's music. But this sitting behind a desk is taking it's toll on me. I took my new toy home and procceded to embarras myself with my lack of jump roping skills. I would make 8-10 complete jumps before tangling myself up in the jump rope. Honestly, it was so bad that I wondered how I even possesed the ability to remain upright while walking.

I fiqured that I needed to practice more and that the skills to properly jump rope would come in time. A few days went by and I really wasnt improving. I became slightly frustrated, maybe I just didnt posses the skillz needed to properly jump rope, I never really enjoyed it as a kid, that would make sense, right?

I just have one more question for my three loyal readers. How many people know that they make different length jump ropes? And, how many know that the taller you are the longer rope you need? I'm 6'02, and apparently an 8ft jumprope won't get the job done. I went out and purchased a 9 1/2ft rope and everything seems to work fine.

The more you know........

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Last Night at Boy Scouts....

I'm almost considering making this a regular column, I just don't know if my sanity will allow it.

So last night at Boy Scouts we were learning the words to the Star Spangled Banner, and the history of said song. I also threw in some history about the War of 1812 to keep it lively. But, before we started I wanted to test the boys knowledge.

Who wrote the Star Spangled Banner?
Betsy Ross

Who was president during the War of 1812?
George Washington

What started the War of 1812?
The 13 colonies wanted freedom from England, oh, and tea.

Who was Francis Scott Key?
He was a British Naval Captain and fought John Paul Jones.

I have my work cut out for me, and this red mark on my forehead may be permanent.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Delusional Blunder

Many years ago, while still living in the Peoples Republik of Kalifornia, I had a good friend that was in a hard spot. He needed some money for one thing or another and decided to part with the first handgun that he had ever bought, a Smith and Wesson 686 with a 6" barrel. 357 Magnum, of course, and I had to have it! It would be the perfect pistol to carry out in the desert while chasing quail. The only problem was the wife, and I decided that I would deal with that later. I paid premium dollar for that pistol, after all, he was a friend. I handed him the $500, took it home and hid it in the gun cabinet. After all, that's what married men do. Right?

A few weeks go by and all is calm in the Sigboy household. I am in need of a little trigger time and start loading up the guns. I'm prepping all my gear, a bit of a drive out into the Mojave desert and I will reach a state of bliss that can only be caused by lead and the smell of burnt nitro-cellulose. A poor lack of timing on my part led to Mrs Sigboy entering the bedroom. "What's this?" she asked, picking up the 686. She opened the cylinder to check the weapon, closed it again and raised the firearm, sighting on an imaginary spot on the wall. My mind went into panic mode. What was I to do? How could I get out of this dilemma? Most importantly, how could I get out of this dilemma and still go shoot?

The solution came upon me in a flash. "I'm sorry sweetheart, I wanted it to be a surprise." Wait a moment for a dramatic pause, and breathe. "I bought it for you and I wanted to take it out and make sure that everything was okay before I gave it to you." My poker face was on, I betrayed no emotion as she pondered my explanation.

A flicker of doubt crept across my mind. Finally she says, "I like it. When will I get to shoot it?" I was safe, or so I thought. She loved that pistol, and shot it well. On every foray we had she carried that pistol. I didn't get to shoot it very much. I carried it in the field even less. Every time I would try and pack it, she would say, "Why are you taking my pistol? You have your own!".

Let this be a lesson to all of you. When you try to cover your indiscretion by making it a gift, just plan on not being able to use it for the purpose you intended.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Fruity Oaty Bars

After a long, and yet not very diligent search, I cobbled together my own personal recipe for fruity oaty bars. Why you ask? Simply put, I'm in touch with my inner Sci-Fi geek and I thought it would be cool. Or, if that's not good enough, I wanted to make my own energy bars for camping.

The search began with my ingredient list. Fruit and oats, how hard could this be? Well what fruit? I like cranberries, and apples, pineapples, cherries, raisins, bananas aren't an option due to certain health issues in the Sigboy household. I even considered prunes and dates, but I want everybody to eat them. I ruled out dried pineapple because I didn't know how it would take the oven, it would also probably be too acidic. Apples were a serious contender, but they also lost out because of the baking issue.

Without further ado, the recipe:
2 1/2 cups oats
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup finely chopped homemade honey roasted almonds
3 eggs
1/2 cup cranberries
1/2 cup cherries
1/2 cup golden raisins
1/2 cup white chocolate chips
2 teaspoons Vanilla
1 teaspoon Cherry extract
1 smidge of cinnamon

Combine sugar, vanilla, cherry extract and eggs in appropriate sized bowl, mix. Add oats, mix again. Add Almonds, mix some more. By now it should be fairly sticky and all items should be evenly coated. A mixer may work for this, but I didn't want to clean the wife's mixer, I just used a bowl. Add the chocolate chips and fruit, last time to mix, I promise. I added the fruit last because I didn't want it to get to beat up with all the mixing.

Grease a 9x13 pan, I mean hose it down (my wife doesn't clean up after my little baking 'experiments'). Spoon your mixture of fruity oaty goodness into the pan. Slide it into your oven at 350* (you did preheat it, didn't you? On a side note, turn the oven on before you mix anything. Than it will be ready). Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes. 25 was just a bit to long in my oven, just check them at 20 and go from there.

Remove from oven and let cool (I mean it, let them cool), cut into bars and wrap, freeze for a longer shelf life. Finally, clean up your mess before your better half gets home. Just trust me on the last part.

Alright, it's taste test time, the flavor is good but the consistency isn't quite right. They are a little crumbly, they just don't quite stick together like they should. I'm thinking about maybe adding molasses or maybe another 1/2 cup of brown sugar. But I'm really at a loss now, and I'm hoping that my two female readers will come in and save me. So how do I make my bars stick together without ruining the taste? HELP!!!!!

Blow Out Kit

The simple Blow Out Kit, small lightweight, and designed for only one thing, to stop all that red stuff from gushing out of you, or your buddies body when bad things happen.

I finally decided that it was time for me to put one of these together, I have other first aid kits (FAK), but I wanted something that I could throw in my range bag and forget about.
The list of contents is short, and contains only the basics to stop major trauma.
1.Olaes Modular Bandage. This thing is awesome! It is a pressure bandage, tourniquet, gauze wound pack, and occlusive dressing all in one. I personally think it is well worth the $8. It is also Latex free. Video here.

2.SWAT-T tourniquet. Relatively new on the first aid market, it is simply a wide rubber band. It functions a s a tourniquet, pressure dressing, and elastic bandage all in one. It is lightweight and more affordable than alot of your traditional TQ's. A real bargain at $10. Also latex free.

3.Nasopharyngeal airway. Keeps you breathing when the muscles in your mouth swell up. Probably not latex free. Instructions for use are here.

4.3" ACE Bandage. We all know what these are used for, splinting, sprains and breaks.

5.Triangular Bandage. Used for splinting.

6.Durapore tape. Always have med tape with you, almost as many uses as duct tape. I prefer the 1" size myself, if you want the 2", just pack duct tape.

Many who know me are surprised that I never put a Blow Out Kit together. I didn't have one the last time I got shot (long story), but I would like to have one around just in case there is a next time.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

I Am Being Stoned

Or, I will be stoned, depending how you look at it.

I am currently being besieged by kidney stones and life will be very interesting until I pass it. I went thru this about this time last year and it wasn't too much fun. Luckily this time I already have a one two punch of hydro-codone and Tramadol to get me thru it. Hopefully this time I can avoid spending $1000 at the Doctor, just for him to tell me that they aren't going to do anything about it.
But hopefully soon this health care reform will kick in and I can save all that money that I normally spend on medical bills every year.
Sadly only half of this is an April Fools joke.
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