Thursday, February 4, 2010

Character Flaw?

I need to rant, that is what most of this post is going to be. You have been warned.

About a decade ago, maybe a little less, I made a decision. I decided that I was going to be the best at what I did, no matter what it was. It didn't matter if it was work or play. I was simply going to be the best. The plan worked. I became enormously successful working at several large truck dealerships in SoCal. I did alignment and suspension work, and because of it, was known and respected across the country. I was making a small fortune, and was at the top of my game. Than I decided that I wanted to play cop. That worked too, graduated fifth in my Academy class before deciding that I liked my wife alot more than I liked the badge. To save my marriage a change was in order, and in typical Sigboy fashion it was big. We sold the house and moved to Sioux Falls, South Dakota. I took a job as a Night foreman at another truck dealership. They had problems with their crew and needed to turn it around. Turn it around I did, bringing productivity up from 60% to just over 85%. No small feat considering what I had to work with. After I was done with that, they decided that they no longer needed my (expensive) services, so something new was again in order. That turned out to be tankers, fuel and propane tankers to be exact. It's fun, I got to keep things from blowing up going down the road.

So why am I telling you all this? The short version of my truck industry career? To set the stage for the next scene of course.

While in South Dakota, Mrs. Sigboy fell ill with a mysterious illness that manifested itself as severe allergies to, well, everything. Doctors could not figure it out, and I was given the options, move her out of here or watch her die. Seeing as how I liked my wife alot more than I liked South Dakota, it was time to move across the country, again. So we gave the house away, and the company I work for was kind enough to give me a promotion and a transfer to Texas.

I was promised the moon when they sent me down here, they wanted badly for me to take it. I was smart enough to know that there was no way it could all be true. But if half of it was true, I would be in a good place. I needed to start over anyways, and with the economy in the position it's in, it was a good plan to keep my job.

Almost a year and a half later, things have settled in at this shop. I have things as organized as they are going to get. It's a pretty good deal, my job is to keep about 13 trucks rolling thru Texas and Oklahoma, Five of them are stationed here with me and the rest are scattered about. I am very good at what I do and the drivers all know that they can count on me to do the right thing and keep them rolling, and it's really nice to have your boss 300 miles away. Both upper management and the drivers tell me that I am the best thing that ever happened to this yard. But it's not enough. I'm not happy. I'm not allowed to excel at what I do. I am to maintain the status quo, no more no less. any deviation off this line results in an immediate smackdown. If my shop is more productive than my boss's shop, I get a lecture, not productive enough, a different lecture. I suppose that what bothers me the most is that I do not feel that I am productive as I can be in this position, and nobody else seems to think I'm doing anything wrong. I have a cushy job, I do what I want, when I want. But I don't feel that it is enough. I can work at this job until I retire, collect my pension and do rather well for myself. But will I be satisfied? Is job satisfaction more important than job security? Is it a simple issue of changing my own standards of success? Perhaps I need to seek my satisfaction elsewhere. I don't know what the right answer is, I only know that something has to change soon, or I'm going to get myself in trouble, and I'm probably going to enjoy it in the process.
edit: I may have found the solution, thanks to Paule Kersey.

1 comment:

Jumblerant said...

I understand the problem. I'd love to soar with the eagles but right now, I'm just another 'tit' pecking at the crumbs.

Personally, I picked a couple of hobbies and try to excel at them. If I'm good enough I'll turn them into my job.

Keep us posted and good luck!

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