Assange vs Obama

Now I know that this really isn't Obama. Why you ask? Obama is wearing a suit jacket in the Oval Office. We all know he doesnt do that!




Via Jeux

Jump Rope

In an effort to be more active, last week I bought a jump rope. A fairly nice leather one from Everlast. No, I dont have any plans to be the next Rocky, or even to film some sort of training montage set to awesome 80's music. But this sitting behind a desk is taking it's toll on me. I took my new toy home and procceded to embarras myself with my lack of jump roping skills. I would make 8-10 complete jumps before tangling myself up in the jump rope. Honestly, it was so bad that I wondered how I even possesed the ability to remain upright while walking.

I fiqured that I needed to practice more and that the skills to properly jump rope would come in time. A few days went by and I really wasnt improving. I became slightly frustrated, maybe I just didnt posses the skillz needed to properly jump rope, I never really enjoyed it as a kid, that would make sense, right?

I just have one more question for my three loyal readers. How many people know that they make different length jump ropes? And, how many know that the taller you are the longer rope you need? I'm 6'02, and apparently an 8ft jumprope won't get the job done. I went out and purchased a 9 1/2ft rope and everything seems to work fine.

The more you know........

Gauntlet Update

I failed. It may have been the 14" pizza I ate on Saturday, I'm not sure. Regardless, I failed. Final weight was 212.8, I was down an even five pounds in four weeks. My charming wife has told me that I can go buy my T-shirts regardless. However, I am going to continue to drop weight and not buy them until I reach 205. At this rate, it will be about early June. Unless I go run, or stop eating pizza and fudge. Decisions, decisions.

Gauntlet, Part Three

This week it was all my fault. I have been craving carbs and sweets. I want bread, cereals, cupcakes, candy, and a very large and fatty steak. I believe my body is trying to organize a coup. Of course, the spoil ourselves rotten lunch at Red Lobster Wednesday didn't help either (but my lovely wife said that she enjoyed it immensely), nor did the pound of fudge (she enjoyed that as well) I bought from a traveling road show at Sam's Club.

One thing that I noticed was that my clothes aren't fitting like they used too. My weight hasn't changed a whole lot, but my structure has. As the muscle starts to tone itself back out and the fat burns off, things aren't fitting the same. I had forgotten what a pain in the ass it was to fit my arms into most shirts. Case in point, last week we stopped at the JC Penny outlet store, I found a decent long sleeve shirt for $2, it wasn't a formal shirt, but would go well when you wanted to wear something more than a polo. It was sized XL, the wife approved of the colors and pattern, so we brought it home. After washing I tried it on. Fit? Not exactly. the shoulders fit (barely), but my arms didn't, one flex the wrong way and I was going to rip seams out. Oh well, it's off to one of my, um, slimmer friends. The moral of the story is that if I keep going down this road, it's going to be back to tailored clothes so that they will fit right. Is it really worth it?

Final thoughts for the week, I need to cut my food back even more. However I have a five day camping trip next week, and now it looks like everybody is bringing tons of food, so I may not reach my goal. Final weigh in, and post, will be on March 22nd.

Todays weight, 213.5 - Own 0.1 pounds, 5.7 pounds to go.

Guantlet Update

Today wraps up week two of my wife's challenge. This week has been really difficult for me to watch the diet. My fat and sugar cravings have been ridiculously hard. I'm sure that the bag of Jelly Beans that the wife brought home didn't help. Or the Girl Scout cookies. Next she is going to be making me her home made cream filled cupcakes (Devils food with vanilla frosting, please)! Yes you heard me correctly, my lovely and charming wife has resorted to guerrilla tactics to force me into not meeting my end of the bargain!
This challenge is scheduled to end on Monday morning, March 22nd.


And for those of you that are curious....213.6 Down 4.2, 5.8 to go.

Throwing Down the Guantlet

Yep, she did it. Mrs. Sigboy threw down the gauntlet. I was looking at nifty cool T-shirts online at RangerUp, where two of them caught my eye. I was positively drooling over them. They would be an awesome wardrobe choice for most of the shooting matches that I attend.
Choice one:

Choice two:

Choice two is my favorite, not so much for the Missus; here is the shirt description:

There are two types of women in this world.

1) Women who want metrosexual sensitive men who cook gourmet dinners, wax their own eyebrows, paint their mate's toenails, and uses phrases like "Yes, honey bunny".

2) Women who like guys made of pure testosterone who live their lives jumping out of airplanes, kicking doors in, and shooting bad guys, never knowing when they're going to come face to face with the big Ranger in the sky.

P.S. Deep down in places they don't like to talk about at parties, the ladies in group one want us too.

Chicks dig shooters. Deal with it, frat boys.

My comment after reading this to my darling wife was, "Ah, the good old days." After which she promptly hit me. And than laid down the challenge.

"Ten pounds, you lose ten pounds, from what you weigh right now, I will let you get those shirts."

"Right now?" I asked, as I stood up from the computer and strolled over to the scale, stripping clothes off as I went. Now, I am by know means out of shape, at
6'02 I can carry a bit of weight around and not show it, but my management job makes it harder to stay trim. I jumped on the scale wearing only a T-shirt, socks and underwear. 217.8, thinking to myself, this is going to be easy, the only dilemma will be what size to order them in. "207.8, I get my shirts?" She nods at me. I have given myself four weeks to accomplish this feat.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

Shoveling Snow-The Preperation

Before you can shovel snow, you must prepare, both physically and spiritually.

I think I'm ready, right after my nap......

Fantasy Fun

This is why I shouldn't have a long weekend, see what my mind does?

I should go hunt, but Mrs. Sigboy is working and my freezer is full. Anybody want Venison steaks?


I was sent this one today, I dont know where it came from. But I did laugh at the irony in it.

I Should Have Hit Her, Part 2

As many of you know, I wiped out my elbow almost two months ago. Last Friday I took the ACE bandage off and have been functioning almost normally. It had been fairly unnerving there for a while, the swelling would go down, and than come back. I was starting to get worried, I cut out all but the minimum physical activity. I surely did not want to have to have surgery. I was speaking to a Doctor friend of mine and he asked me a few questions about my healing process. I told him how it was progressing and here is his exact quote: "You went off your meds didn't you?" Now anybody that knows me very well knows that I have an aversion to drugs. Not just the illegal stuff, that's another long drawn out story. I don't go running for the Tylenol when I have a headache, I don't go diving for the Motrin when my back hurts, frankly, I would rather suffer through the pain and allow my body to heal itself. I told Doctor friend that he was right, I wasn't on anything. He proceeds to lecture me how the body wasn't going to get rid of that swelling without drugs. Being a Doctor, he tells me 800mg Motrin, 3 times a day and I would be better in two weeks.

So I'm mostly better now and I decide that I need to start being active again. A few days ago I stretched and did about an hour of calisthenics, not bad, started loosening up. Last night I picked up some free weights. Wow, I knew that I was loosing muscle mass off my arms, after all I wasn't using them, but I am definitely weak. So looks like I am back on a workout routine and going to drop all that weight that these sedentary months have put on me. Maybe I can get motivated and drop that extra ten as well.......


And next time, I`m just gonna hit her.

White Collar Sumdood

Special thanks to AD and Lawdog for showing me what this truly was.

My thought was that I had left him in my past. I had seen hide nor hair of him since I left California all those years ago. I had laughed at all my buddies that caught the occasional glimpse of Sumdood. I was not worried, he was no threat to me.

I am comfortable in my position at Large Corporate Energy Company, awesome benefits, good retirement plan, great hours, decent pay. I had climbed a few rungs up the ladder, what more could I want?

I volunteered myself to travel to Dallas and act as a representative for Large Corporate Energy Company and purchase a piece of equipment that another department needed. Not a big deal by any means, I had authority to spend about 35k, and I intended too perform diligently and enamour myself with this deal. A few trips back and forth to Dallas and the deal was finalized. I had performed well, and secured an excellent deal for Large Corporate Energy Company. A few days went by and the equipment was set to be delivered. Suddenly my company cell rang, "Large Corporate Energy Company, this is Sigboy"

"Sigboy, this is Salesman Sumdood." My thoughts ran rampant, it couldn't be. I hadn't seen him in years. "I was able get another discount on that equipment. Since the wire transfer is already done I will just write a check for $500. Who do I make it out too?"

"Make it out to Large Corporate Energy Company, I will take care of it from there." No big deal, what was Sumdood playing at?

"Are you sure, I can make it out to Sigboy if that would be easier."

"Nah, make it out to Large Corporate Energy Company." It all made sense now, Sumdood was trying to pay me off, after the deal was done. Sneaky little bastard, that Sumdood is getting smarter.

Let this be a lesson to all of you that Sumdood can be anywhere. Keep your eyes peeled, and your mind sharp.

Tata's and Boobies

If you ever needed a reason to give to a charity:



Wait, I promised Boobies didn't I?

How's that for a nice, matching pair of Boobies?

I should have hit her...

Not hitting my wife led me to the Doctors office. Not hitting my wife put my right arm out of commission for several weeks. Not hitting my wife led to my worst doctor visit ever.

Maybe a little background is in order. Last week we were working in the laundry room. Of course, we had plenty of company, the dog and a small child were underfoot. I swung around unexpectedly and found my elbow about to contact my charming wife's head. A decision was made in a split second that would lead to my downfall. I chose to avoid hitting my wife and I hit the corner of the wall instead. Several days went by and all was well, no pain, no swelling, only a slight bit of discomfort.

Tuesday morning was when it all changed. I woke up to a swollen and inflamed elbow, it was warm to the touch and very tender. I immediately started heating it and starting taking Motrin to keep the swelling down. The week went by with only slight improvement. Friday came along, no swelling, but still tender and it felt that there was a bunch of fluid around the joint. I begrudgingly went to the clinic. After reviewing the dates nobody seemed very impressed with my delay, or my self diagnosis (which was correct by the way). Obviously, the first thing the Doctor ordered was x-rays. My first question was "Why?". I have decided that since I pay for it, I have the right to ask all the questions I want, and to deny tests if the Doctor cannot explain to me why they are neccesary. Little did I realize that this would change the tone for the rest of the visit. She was offended that I even questioned her judgement. She told me that she wanted to check for a break. I told her it wasn't broke. She said I couldn't possibly be smart enough to know that. Well, at least she insinuated it.

When in the room, her body language told me that she didn't want to be there. Her tone confirmed it. There she was, about my age, reasonably unattractive, hair pulled back in a simple pony tail. Her makeup was splotchily applied, foundation poorly covered by powder. I made no judgement, unfortunately,I was the only person in the room with such courtesy. She judged me based upon what I was wearing, my uniform for work. Black pleated pants, and a button down grey shirt, complete with name tags and an ISO 9000 cert patch. I also like to call it suburban camouflage. You don't know who I am, what I have done or even what I do. You are payed to provide a service to me. I expect courtesy to come along with the deal. I do not expect attitude because I dared question your judgement.

The xrays came back and confirmed all of our suspicions, the fluid in the joint was inflamed and causing the discomfort. She offered to drain it, but said that it would probably refill later. She also told me that the xrays showed no sign of gout or any other diseases.

So here is my point. I will not be accepting her services again. Why? Because I payed for a service and was not impressed. What was she looking for in the x-ray? Gout. I did not pay for xrays for her to mislead me so that she could check for gout. She didn't tell me that in the beginning, I would have said no and she wouldn't have gotten the up sale. Luckily, I pay for my own health care and nobody can tell me who I can see and who I can't. I will not be needing her services in the future. Thankfully I live in a Country where I am not told which doctor I have to see and when.

Next time, I'm just going to hit her.

ROUS

They have been found in Papua New Guinea.
From the CNN article:
Measuring 82 centimeters (32.2 inches) from nose to tail and weighing around 1.5 kilograms (3.3 pounds), the species is thought to be one of the largest rats ever to be found.
This is one of the world's largest rats. It's a true rat, the same kind you find in the city sewers," said Kristofer Helgen, a biologist from the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History, who was part of the expedition team.
"To find new species of insects in this region isn't uncommon, ... this giant bloody rat -- the size of a cat. Amazing!"

Jay G wants to know what you would use for one of these scurrying about in your pantry.

My answer? I'm going to side with the Dred Pirate Roberts and use a sword.

High School English

I read alot, I always have. I read anything with words on a page. Occasionally I read stuff with pictures. I also read The Atomic Nerds. Today Stingray talks about high school and running into people that you knew. Trust me, being a thousand miles from where you went to High School is an advantage. I no longer have to worry about having a reunion in Wal-Mart.

For my Sophomore and Senior year I had the same teacher for honor english. Did I mention that I read alot? This included in the classroom. She would hand out assignments, I would be the first to complete it. Not being one to idly waste time I would pull out my book and start to read. Soon the class discussion would start. I continued to read. English teachers are smart, and they think alot. This particular one thought to herself, "If I call on Sigboy while he is reading, he won't know what is going on in the discussion, and will be embarrassed enough to pay attention." Did her plan work as expected? Of course not, I'm smarter than that. When called upon I would put down my book, answer the question, take the discussion to the next level, and calmly pick my book back up. Apparently this annoyed her, alot. She told me this after graduation, and I calmly went back to reading my book.

Cowboy Rules

This has been making the rounds lately, thought I would pass it along.

Cowboy rules for Arizona, Texas, Colorado, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Idaho, and the rest of the wild west are as follows:

1) Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

2) Turn your cap right, your head aint crooked.

3) Lets get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want too. No matter how slow you drive, your going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4) They are cattle, that is why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 and I-40 go east and west, I-15 and I-25 go north and south. Pick one and go.

5) So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have 250,000combines that are only driven three weeks a year.

6) every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7) If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/ doves are comin' in during the hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you dont have it up to your ear at the time.

8) Yeah, we eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9)The 'Opener' refers to the first day of dear season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10) We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.

11)No, there is no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the chef's salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

12) When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup! Oh, yeah...We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat. It ain't real chili!

13)You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown,wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14)College and High School football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a darn sight more fun to watch.

15) Yeah, we have golf courses. but dont hit the water hazards, it spooks the fish.

16) Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music anyway. We don't want to hear it any more than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1.

This Explains Everything

Did you know that Texas has it's own pledge?
"Honor the Texas flag; I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one state under God, one and indivisible."


The original pledge started "Honor the Texas flag of 1836", which was amended in 1965. I only find this ironic because of the Texas mentality. I am a recent transplant (got here as quick as I could.), believe me when I say that Texans out of Texas are actually less prideful than Texans in Texas. I am also swiftly becoming one of these. I don't think a Texas pledge is a bad thing. A trifle over the top perhaps, but isn't that Texas?

I don't recall saying a California pledge growing up. If they had one it probably went like this, "I pledge my money to the peoples republic of Kalifonia, and whosoever lives under government rule, shall be entitled to poverty for their days. And if I desire to seek freedom elsewhere, I shall give up to 40% of my household value when I leave."

God Bless Texas.

While I was sleeping soundly

h/t to I aim to misbehave

Six Words

Honor, integrity, righteousness overcome all obstacles.

Stolen from Jay

The short background is that Ernest Hemingway thought that any story could be condensed into six words.

What is your story?

Quote of the Day: Pmag Edition

I recommend Pmags because they are made of compressed American freedom and the tears of patriots. They also are impact resistant.

Taken off of The Zombie Squad Forum

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